What do I miss most in life?

This is a weird question. I think so. The title could have been something more apt to some situation like, 'what do people miss the most in winter?', 'what do people miss the most in old age?', etc. Let me justify the question... the situations might be different, the moods might be different, but get me one perfectly fulfilled person, who can say 'oh no! there's nothing that I need.' Yeah, there is always something we like to look forward to, to get that something we need, to have desires and ambitions fulfilled, to have hopes. There is a person, a value, a work more cherished that we miss on and off.

I think what I miss the most, personally, is my idealism, the 'I give a damn! May what come' attitude. It was a different time when I thought I could bend all the rules, and also face the repercussions of my insolence with a right vs. wrong approach. Being a good person was important, but being correct was more so. With experience and advice, I started to see things in color and not just black and white. And voila! Welcome to the adulthood! Now I think twice before saying things, even if they are right, just so as to not offend people. I give bribes to get my work done. I follow all the rules to be a good daughter, a good wife, etc. I try hard not to say the truth, as it might hurt. Well I surely miss my idealism the most.