Responsibility or burden?

There are so many times when these two words get jumbled up and even begin to mean the same. The first few lessons in

responsibility always come at home or with family. Young children learn from adults about what they ought to do and what not. Their sense of right and wrong comes mostly from imitating others around them and then putting their learning into action, way before they start thinking for themselves. This is what really makes the child grow up to be independent, self-reliant and responsible.

An independent individual always owns up to his responsibilities. He is brought up to believe that his actions and reactions churn up events for which he is ultimately responsible. I was and am a little confused about this highly talked about philosophy - Whatever is happening in my life, "I" am responsible for it - as this is not a pretty philosophy because it can make people feel guilty of something and blame themselves endlessly when things don’t go according to plans! This then turns into a pattern of dejection, trying to be positive, being acutely aware of everything and trying not to do anything wrong further on (as if we were trying to do wrong in the first place!), etc. *Sigh*. Sure, this is good for the corporate bosses to make their employees conscientious, but life?

Haven’t we all noticed that our relationship patterns are of a similar kind? The people we attract into our life have commonness in a way. Our best buddies are ‘like’ us. All this may have some karmic connection. Or speaking of science, we all have energies. And we vibrate well to a particular kind of energy and are attracted to a particular kind of energy. So, it isn’t wrong if we say we attract these energies in our lives too. This might also mean we solely are responsible for getting stuck in an abusive relationship, or being associated with certain anti-social beings, for being bitten by a rabid dog or just being in a situation where we were not supposed to be!

Just for an example, we have come across many stories of this kind: a passenger (a newbie or a routine traveller) travelling by air.

A druggie slips into his bag something without his notice. The passenger gets caught in security check. And then who listens to the authenticity of the claim that he is not guilty? Because an offence is an offence and he is "responsible" for getting into the situation in the first place! Would it help if you say, "yes, I did not take notice of my bags or who was standing next to me"? You are responsible for your ignorance and naivete then! You "should" know that such things happen and can happen to you!

It is right to say we should be responsible for our lives, our neighborhood and our planet. I know, I know, I see too many advertisements about protecting environment, making me feel guilty about using plastic bags. But I never burst crackers! I try not to cause air pollution that way. I try to save electricity and not waste water when I can! But what about all the others who don’t give a damn? I am tired of being responsible for them too! Does the druggie own up to his mistake and save the passenger? No!

So then doesn’t responsibility turn into a burden? How far can we be realistic and practical and not beat ourselves down for everything wrong happening with us and around us? Or can it be said that we are actually “not wholly responsible” for everything happening in our lives and there are “external factors” that are out of our control? If so, then what is the point of this philosophy?