Social Network

I have a lot of good friends in my lives. I like being able to laugh at funny things with them. I like being able to just share thoughts, feelings and time with them. But it has not been that easy always.

I have moved school too often. You know how it goes. Parents are in a transferable job and we keep moving house every few years (I was luckier than others, who moved more often). This made it super difficult to make and keep friends in early years. This makes you mentally insulate yourself from the possibility of getting close to anyone and then going away. Of course, my parents loved to socialize and my brother and I were never left out. I in fact loved to hang out with family friends (my parents’ friends and their kids) and became more close to them. I made many friends in my college days and later on, when I finally stopped moving.

I tried to keep the memories intact. But, as can be expected, with time the memories were hazy, like smoke, and it took a lot of effort to hold on to them; I let them go. Since being able to reconnect to everyone through social networking sites, I have tried to connect myself again to the people from my earlier life. I feel bad to have missed out on possible potential friends. I vaguely remember faces and some small details about a very few people. I can see my then good friends (at age 14) are now a happy couple and have a wonderful family! What happened to the years in between? I am happy for them. Yet it is frustrating as I am not able to relate to them now at all.

It sometimes happens that I recognize a person, but have nothing to say to them. Yes, we are totally different now from then. But if you do not accept their “friend request” there is a mild possibility that I maybe termed a snob or an ungrateful person. But if you do accept, you have nothing to say! Sometimes a childish memory (a 12-yr old face) comes back about how a certain someone was a bully then, and I am immediately wary of talking to them now! Immature? Yes! Oh! I bet there are many who would not want to talk to me now, because then I had (maybe) a bad handwriting or something!

What’s more frustrating is few (well-meaning) people, who make the effort to reconnect, expect me to catch up suddenly - who married who, who studied what, who lives where, who has become a rogue, who turned out well, etc! I should be in the know of these things. Everyone knows this stuff! And well when you are at a loss of words and don’t show the expected reaction, you are immediately left out again. The feeling this generates might be that I am not interested, don’t care, or unsocial. Sigh! Connecting 2 different universes (mine and theirs) is not an easy task!

I am all for social networking. It is a good forum for catching up, for sharing favorites, for expressing creative ideas, for letting people know what you are up to, basically connecting. I wouldn’t have been able to know that the other universe still exists, if not for these sites. So, “Hurrah!” for social networking!