'Workable' situations

Since I began blogging, a whole new world of "free information" has opened to me. Its great to be reading other interesting blogs. I am all for honest opinions and curiously new unique things. It was always like a cul-de-sac in the past when you had to rely on books only for any sort of information. Internet has opened so many avenues. So has this free world of blogging.

Its great to find information about anything at all. I have lately been reading a lot about "self-help". I used to find this topic very preachy in the past. I always thought that the people who have written it must be snobs. I pictured that these people have "achieved success" or "learnt how to turn down unprofitable business proposal politely" or something. But it is funny now, because I realize that if they are saying they will never be sad again or learnt how to be efficient 24/7, they are just advertising! Of course nobody is perfect; we are all striving to be better everyday.

I am very choosy of people with whom I want to associate myself. It is not a big task when it comes to choosing friends. But it is super hard if they come along as your family/relatives or your colleagues (who sit next to you all day)/boss. These people can be a real pain. And being around some of these people can be a real mood buster. No matter what, they cannot be ignored or won't take it lightly if ignored. You have to interact with them on a daily basis.

It is much more difficult to handle family situations. I still don't know what I should be doing in case of a family person being a pain. But much easier are office situations. For example, if you have a whiny colleague, who complains all day about the extra workload, or not being paid the OT money, or being called in on a Sunday, when both of you are in the same situation, it stresses you out even more. You may be trying to be understanding about this situation, but it is not really helping. You might see yourself obsessing about this person now, instead of trying to be done with the dreadful work-

"OMG! Will he stop now?! He is not going to die if he works for an hour extra! He is such a sissy! He does not dare to tell the boss what he is thinking! I wish they are secretly recording what he is saying. He only roars at me! He must actually be a sissy in real life. Oh right! Now I know; that day, he freaked out because he had a flu and he thought it was H1N1! What a wuss!"

This is not only going to not help with the work, but it starts to form a thought process about this colleague, which totally leaps out of professional circle and makes you judgmental of him for wrong reasons! (Although, I agree this can be a de-stressing, amusing, character analysis game: Raju- the H1N1 freak! haha!) We all do this, don't we?

Well, instead of being "Gaahhh! I can't stand to be next to him anymore!" in your mind, you can say things like- "Yeah! I know! I am not getting paid for extra work either. So, stop wasting my time. I really want to be done with this fast and be home! " If you can say this, I admire you. Open and proper communication is a damn good asset!

But, I know the world is a hard place for polite/meek people. For those of you who seem to be hyperventilating each time the colleague opens his mouth, but cant seem to do anything about it, you can try these-

1. Take deep breaths and count to 10 or 20 or 30.... however long it takes for you to focus (or in this case, lose focus of him).
2. If you are good at faking expressions, have a "bored" expression to feign disinterest.
3. If this person does not care if you are bored and still goes on, do not respond.
4. (This one is utterly confusing!) Think of the good things about this person. It will kind of help you to not feel "arrrgggh!", but "woooww" (Raju was hilarious in that meeting. Man you should have seen the boss man's face!). And this can distract your brain too. It is like tricking your brain into liking this person!

Devious? Yes! Still, if all the above do not work, you can definitely try this tried and tested approach:

"I know how you feel! Let's finish this work fast and then talk about this in leisure."

The assurance of a "whine time" makes the person leave you alone. I bet once the work is done, the colleague will be as happy to be home early as you. You do not have to go back to this session.

Life would be so much easier if we had delete and replay button in it. We could delete stuff we did not like and replay all the things that make us feel better. But since that is clearly not the case, lets make most of what we have.