Fair and lovely, dark and handsome

I have always been subjected to the "fair is lovely" sentiment either directly or indirectly from the time I could distinguish between fair and dark. I am considerably brown and my brother takes after my mom and is quite light in colour in comparison. In my family, my parents have never treated us differently, which is how ideally every family should be. But, since I started going to school and also meeting "certain elders" in family functions, I was made keenly aware that my brother was considered prettier than me!

I remember asking my mom at home if I was ugly. I also used to ask my aunts and uncles if they thought my brother was better looking compared to me. Of course, nobody was cruel to me that way, and they always showered equal love on us both. My mother always reassured me that I was very beautiful, as was my brother.

We Indians (and many other Asians) are coloured people. And for reasons unknown to me, most of us chase after fair skin! It is especially important for girls to be fair in our society. A new born baby is immediately judged by its skin colour. The fairer the child, the "cuter" it is. And even before a child can begin to form his own opinions and thinking, these prejudices get etched deep within, sometimes scarring the child. At the time when a child should not be worried about playing in the sun "or he will get darker", he starts to think that his worth is determined by his looks. Of course, it is definitely advantageous to be good looking as researched by many cosmetics companies (cosmetics industry is a multi-billion dollar business). But is it really essential to be fair to be beautiful?

Such stereotyping is actually quite surprising to me. We are naturally brown skinned. We breed brown-skinned children. But a majority of us still consider a brown child just average in looks and gets average attention from its family. People wouldn't look twice at it, because it is not any different. Even parents who are brown and fair each, prefer to have a child who is fair and the mother drinks kesar milk in pregnancy so that the child becomes fair in colour (impossible scientifically, unless it is in the genes).

This obsession persists throughout Asia. But, in the West, people go to great lengths to get a tan. A tan is fine, but not a brown or a black skin. I am sure it is not true with all people universally. But a majority foster such sentiments. This unexplained dislike to even "hate" makes a dent in an individual's self-confidence, unless his confidence is armoured. My friends actually asked me how is it that my sister's child is actually so fair but my sister isn't, with such bewilderment! How is it OK to be impertinent and hurt somebody's feelings, than be a nice individual, whether brown or white?

My mom used to tell me that it is not important what your skin colour is, neither is it important to be good looking. What matters is to be good natured, presentable, self-confident, and hard-working. And people will love you for what you are and not how you look. But all said and done, I think brown skin is no less beautiful than white skin. Cosmetic beauty is skin deep, but true beauty isn't. I will definitely teach my child what my mom taught me.

(picture source : the desi mag)